Many sexual “healers” and educators talk about awakening the Goddess or God within and wax sentimental about a time where this God/dess was worshipped, revered, and embodied by certain men and women in sacred sexual rituals.  This kind of thing is often dismissed as woo woo or new age nonsense, however when taken as metaphor is relevant and useful even to the most down to earth, scientific and matter of fact person.   


So, what does it mean to activate or embody your inner Sex God or Goddess?   

Simply put, it means to put yourself into a peak state for sex, specifically high level ecstatic connected sex.  Every one of us has a multitude of ego states that we move through in order to navigate our lives.   The state you are in when playing with your children is very different from that in a high stress work environment,  when running from a bear, or when attempting to seduce a lover.  The ego state making the decisions is The Executive.   To access a part of you, a state which feels and behaves like a sexual God/dess, is powerful, sensual, confident, focused, and who lives in a state of love (rather than victim hood or predatorial)  you simply bring that specific state the executive position for as long as necessary.  We see it when a sweet shy seeming woman steps into her role as a high level burlesque dancer on stage,  or when a high level athlete gets into the zone.  Talking about the God/dess does not mean you believe there are powerful beings in the sky, it can also be a metaphor for a set of traits which are beneficial and desirable. 


I say to simply bring this state into the executive,  but what if you don’t know how?  What if your habitual sexual ego state is not a God/dess but is insecure?  Disconnected? Ashamed? Protective?  Defensive?  Manipulative or abusive? 


Intimacy and Sexuality coaches can help teach you to access these positive ego states and integrate them into your relationships:  just as a business coach or motivational or athletic  coach can helps you to access high performance states:  These new intimacy coaches, sacred sex practitioners teach you principles of intimacy and love, and teach you how to access those extraordinarily powerful ego states. 


Forget old belief systems that demonized sexuality, reserving it for procreation and associating it with fear based punishments (hell, anyone?).  Forget new cultural systems which glorify disconnect, objectivity, abuse and promote addictive behaviours that destroy sexual function, sensitivity and even connection and intimacy in relationships.  Neither men or women are satisfied or willing to accept low level status quo experiences anymore! 


This is a time for openness and discussion.  Not the “50 ways to drive him wild” drivel we see in magazine or click bait.  Real, actionable information.  Real, hands on healing. 
There is a need for adult sex education.  These educators, coaches, and skilled bodyworkers enable people to understand themselves and to fully utilize the power of their sexual energy consciously, instead of as a default response to habitual activities and programmed stimulation. 


A common statement that I hear is “I didn’t know something like (The Sensualist) existed”  and at least in Hamilton Ontario, it’s true. There are many well known and incredible educators on the West Coast of both Canada and the US.  Here,  there is a huge divide:   Pharmaceuticals, Therapeutic Clinical Massage,  Sex Therapists (of the verbal consultant type)  and the underground… the erotic massage parlours and providers.  Most in less than savoury conditions, they are there not only to serve the population who are looking for sex at a discounted rate, but unfortunately are the only option for many who are looking for human touch, compassion, and intimacy on a real heart level.  Out of need.  Many of them find themselves offering sex education and advice to their Johns.  There is a missing link and major gap which until now, was not being met.  
​

It’s time to address this gap in a wholesome way and provide positive understanding of ourselves.  Healing from the damaging effects that a lifetime of harmful sexual beliefs, habits and experiences and finally to move to generative work.  Raising the sexual consciousness of our relationships and reaping the rewards of such a powerful method of connecting and being together in love. It starts with a shift in perception, and it starts with a new kind of coach/teacher/educator, and bodywork which supports an individual’s personal intimate healing and growth. 


THIS is the mission at The Sensualist.  
It is a new kind of experience, an opportunity to heal and discover your  sexual self and improve your relationships.

What are Yoni Eggs, and Why should I use them?

Yoni is a Sanskrit word that literally translated means “sacred temple”  and is used to mean vagina. I love the term as it relates to massage and intimacy because it demonstrates the reverence and intention behind the physical actions of touch and awareness exercises.

When working with women or couples, one of the first things that must be done is that she cultivate yoni health and awareness. It is important to know that this is not all about developing muscular strength or a “vice grip.”  It is about awareness, sensitivity, appreciation, responsiveness, and love.  The opposite of what many women experience with their yonis,  more typically are issues such as:  numbness, tension, shame, disgust, feelings of unworthiness, frustration and disconnection.  

How healthy is your connection to your yoni?  Do you listen to her needs? Do you nourish her with loving care or speak silent words about her, questioning her appearance, performance, smell and taste?   Are you engaging in activities that promote her health, provide pleasure, and increase love?

The Short List:

Eggs Strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor and urogenital diaphragm. What does that mean in terms of results?

• Stronger and more intense orgasms
• More urinary control,  for those who have had children or are older, this means no leakage!
• A stronger grip during intercourse, no explanation needed.
• Mindful practice with the Yoni Egg allows for Increased Vaginal Sensitivity, more pleasure and perception inside of you during intercourse. Many women complain of not being able to feel much pleasure from intercourse,  rather than dismiss or ignore the vagina,  increase perception to experience more of yourself and your partner.  Move away from numbing and draining disassociated and excessively intense stimulation and cultivate your true female sexual energy.
• Yoni eggs increase arousal and lubrication, strengthening and conditioning the vaginal canal for women who are experiencing dryness and discomfort with menopause.  They give a gentle, smooth and safe internal massage bringing blood flow and nutrients to the delicate tissue.
• Following Childbirth, they are an essential part of regaining tone and tissue health and bladder control.
• For women who have experienced sexual trauma, and or idiopathic vaginal pain and discomfort (do not self diagnose, always check with your doctor that there is nothing else going on) eggs provide a gentle and safe way to massage and relax the tissue, releasing tension and stored negative emotions.  I believe that emotional work using Hypnosis or EFT is essential to do in conjunction with Egg Work and even Bodywork by a qualified professional for sexual healing.   Do not take this lightly or choose someone at random.  Do your homework when choosing someone to work with you for healing.

For most women, starting with a Medium or Large egg is correct,  over time a smaller egg can be used as strength and sensitivity increases.  For most, a small egg will be useless as they will be unable to even feel it inside,  you DO want to be able to feel it and to squeeze against the sides for resistance and massage. Do not choose too small of an egg to start due to vanity or ego.

Stay tuned for ways to use them alone, with a partner to enhance intercourse, for both pleasure and health. I do supply Eggs at The Sensualist,  primarily Medium and Large,  with some sets that include all three sizes M, L and small. ​