How do you know that pornography is negatively affecting your life, and why should you care? ​

Take a look at this list, below to the right and see if you see yourself in it. 
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Now, I don't know if you are satisfied with your sex life, and whether you want to eliminate the control that pornography currently has over you.   But I do know that pornography induced erectile dysfunction is now an epidemic in  young men.

• It increases social anxiety and exacerbates the condition of being unable to get out and meet a sex partner. It literally programs you to be less attractive to women.   Have you heard of "having game"  well you're ruining your game. 
• It destroys your ability to respond to real life sex partners.  Your brain is in charge of your body's sexual response, you are programming your brain to NEED pornography and deadening your sexual response by using it. 
• It destroys your ability, and MOTIVATION to be able to be a good lover to your partner, or potential partners.
• If the intimacy in your marriage is dead and you want to revive it, it won't happen with porn addiction in the way.  And no, that is not because I believe it's infidelity or morally corrupt to be aroused by other people, it's because the mechanism of using porn to masturbate gets in the way of real connection and pleasure.
• It sucks the life, motivation, and creativity out of you.

Pornography Self Evaluation Checklist 
​1. You use porn several times a week, daily or several times per day
2. You choose porn over in person sex
3. You find in person sex to be less arousing and or compelling than watching pornography
4. You are a frequent  porn user and mysteriously (this is at any age) are having difficulty with erections and ejaculation when having real life sex
5. As a user, the idea of giving it up induces anxiety, panic, anger or derision
6. Your partner has complained about your porn usage
7. Your partner seems to find sex with you boring or unpleasant and you suspect she may be faking pleasure or orgasms, and you have sex with her anyway without fixing this problem
8. You find it difficult to be aroused without masturbating to orgasm
9. You spend long periods of time browsing pornography and edging
10. You need to look at pornography to be aroused, have an erection or ejaculate
11. Due to excessive porn use, it now takes a "vice grip"  and "crazy hand"  to make you ejaculate,  and sometimes you can't even get there.  Note:  there are other roads to this predicament, but it's part of the list
12. You are no longer able to be aroused or attracted to your partner, and need to either watch porn or run "porn in the head"  to have sex
13. You watch a lot of pornography because you can't meet women in real life and need to satisfy your urges
14. You are depressed and cannot break the cycle of porn, masturbation, orgasm and following depression
15. You are unable to interact with women (or men, if you're sexually attracted to men) normally, instead viewing them ONLY as objects that are fuckable, (or not)  or there for your gratification 
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Yes, I am one of those people who wants to stop using.  What should I do? 
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Most simply.  STOP USING PORN.  If you can do that, then great! You will also find it easy to increase personal sexual response and likely are more ready to improve your lovemaking skills.  If not, read on. 

1. The most important part is for you to be ready to commit to yourself.  Are you ready for change? Are you ready for positive improvements in your life?  Porn is not compartmentalized to masturbation and to your penis, it spills over into every aspect of your life.  

2. Together, we determine how it is affecting you and discover what you would like to be doing with your life INSTEAD of mindlessly fapping to pornography.  Maybe you want to rekindle sex with your wife, or make the sex better.  Maybe you want the warmth and company of a real girlfriend, but need to leave your couch and computer in order to actually start to interact with real life women.  Maybe you're tired of feeling like your dick is dead and the endless search for something that can turn you on like you used to get turned on.  Yeah, it sucks, and will only get worse if left untreated. 

We will use a process that determines what pornography is doing for you, and substitute alternative healthy and productive behaviours.  Have you ever experienced where part of you wants to do something -- like eat a healthy salad for dinner, and another part of you decides it wants a big burger and fries with iced cream for dessert?  We will access the different parts of you that are in conflict or making bad choices and help them to become congruent in your goal of healthy sexual expression.  Your unconscious ALWAYS has a positive intent in choosing what it does, we need to find the intent and help it to help you get what you want. Yes, healthy sexual expression can be wild, varied, kinky and fun. 

You will learn healthy sexual habits, whether you're partnered or not.  How to tune into your sexuality, cultivate your erotic energy and amplify your pleasure and arousal.  

Depending on how severe the problem is, you may want to do a complete sexual reset which is a three month commitment. 

You may want to invest in coaching to improve your lovemaking at home. I have a toolkit of activities and exercises to make sex better,  yes even if you have not had sex in 20 years you CAN rekindle ecstatic pleasure, romance, and erotic enjoyment together.  Even if you have not been attracted to each other in a very long time. 

This can be done on your own, and if it seems too hard... send me a message! ​